| Being Morons, a
self proclaimed
not-taking-ourselves-too-seriously band, when our
drummer was unable to get away from his day job
to perform in Liverpool, the idea of bringing him
along on a CD made perfect sense. We went into a
studio, slightly better than the closet where we
recorded the original Moron's demo, and Gary
"B-Wom" Vacha laid down his
contribution to the band's 21 song set list. From
there on, for the entirty of the Liverpool
experience, Gary on CD became known as the
"fake drummer". It is interesting to play
along to a "fake drummer". He became a
character in his own right, and over the course
the week we praised him, scolded him, fired him,
and once even blew him up (spontaneous combustion
- ala Spinal Tap)!
Being sure to
live up to our name, the Yellow SubMorons arrived
in Liverpool 30 minutes after our first gig had
ended. We tryed, but found traveling back in time
to be impossible, so instead we found the fellow
in charge and let him know we'd be unable to make
that show. To be fair, the band had never been
told we were scheduled to play at that time. It
was only when we picked up and read through our
band packet that we noticed two
"suprise" performances. The real
suprise was for anyone who had gone to the Caven
that afternoon to see some
Morons..."Suprise, we aren't even in town
yet!" In any case, having missed our own
show, the evening was free, so we wandered about
Liverpool taking it all in.
By this point
we'd given up on finding all the famous Rutle
sites, having come to the sad realization that
they are indeed fiction :) . In Hamburg (where we
were hanging out, missing our "suprise
gig"), we looked for the Ratskeller, finding
only the Kaiserkeller (where the Beatles once
played) and the Rathaus (the townhall). As luck
would have it, however, we did find one of the
original rats lurking about the London tube. Also
fortunate, Nicole, as Stig O'Hara, had the
opportunity to cross Abbey Road trouserless.
The next
afternoon was the first of our performances we
actually attended. From there we did a total of 8
shows in 5 days. The drummer managed to screw up
at least once in evey show...sometimes he'd drum
too fast, or too slow, or not loud enough. Surely
it was all his fault when those of us on stage
found ourselves not quite on his beat. There was
that occasion when he must have been up too late
the night before, hanging out with the DJs at the
80's dance club up the street from the Cavern.
The next morn we hooked him up and began to play,
when suddenly he skipped (hic-cup). "Stop
the drummer!" "Stop the drummer!"
We completed the song without him. "Shall we
try again?" Well, after three songs it
became clear our "fake drummer" was too
far gone to make it through the show. Someone in
the audience called out "Can the
drummer!" With the drums out of the mix, the
audience became part of the band. We shared our
tamborine and gave out toy instruments. The crowd
clapped and banged the tables. They were
wonderful...thank you to all of them.
It was on the
stage at the Cavern back where our "fake
drummer" self combusted. He had some sort of
trouble dealing with the difference between the
electric current in England and American power.
So the black box that we'd been using to control
the drummer was reduced to a useless paperweight.
We can deal with that...just give the CD to the
soundman to play from the boards. Unfortunately,
our high-tech player was designed such that the
CD inside could only be released when the player
was set to on, and such a setting is impossible
when you've just blown up your "fake
drummer". Eventually we were able to rescue
the drummer from his prison, but unable to
control him from stage, each track had to be
announced aloud to the soundman, and thus the
entire audience. This became our program guide to
the set list, "for those of you following
along, we will be skipping track 5 and moving on
to track 6...okay drummer, count us in."
There was one
show where we didn't even try to use the drummer.
Upon entering the venue, we learned a few bands
prior to us, the sound system had essentially
been blown up (must have been hanging with our
drummer), so everything sounded as though it was
being projected through a megaphone. We had a
hard enough time staying together with ourselves,
so we didn't think we'd have much of a chance
keeping with a tipsy drummer, who would have
sounded like he was playing a set of
kitchen-ware. In any case, that night we felt
like "Rut-talica".
Overall, we had a
fantastic time and wonderful exerperience. The
nice thing about being SubMorons is that if
something goes arye it must be due to your
moron....uh....moronity? It is an amazing feeling
to stand on the stage at the Caven Front and see
the crowd the same way the Beatles did way back
when. You'll have to ask Gary if he got the same
sort of rush being played on CD in that room. At
the end of our last Cavern show, for the first
time in the history of this band, every name was
announced in it's proper form, that is Jim was
introduced as "Jim Hondros" not the
usual "Jim Nasty". Even the name
"Gary Vacha" was given credit as our
"fake drummer". It seemed fitting that
eveyone would be properly acknowledged on this
stage...even if it also made for the first
serious moment in the history of the band.
So from this
experience we have learned the following (that's
right, even Morons can learn)....
1. Be prepared for anything. You may sound like
Morons, or Rut-alica, or (who knows) Chipmunks?
2. Make friends with other bands, they can warn
you about strange sound conditions (thank you
Penny Lane).
3. If you wish to perform with a fake drummer,
chose a battery powered one such that you do not
blow him up.
4. Don't allow your fake drummer to have too much
fun the night before a gig.
5. Just in case, always have an "understudy
drummer" in the wings
6. If all else fails, ask the audience to join
the band...they are really good.
7. Don't look too hard for those famous Rutles
sites...you'll never find them.
8...and most importantly...be a little silly and
have alot fun...that's the key to doing the
Rutles a proper tribute.
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